What Am I Waiting For?
Ever since I quit RYFO I feel like I’ve been playing a waiting game. Waiting for my life to start. For God to drop a new project conveniently in my lap and say “Run with it.” Waiting for my husband to show his face. Waiting to have my own place. Waiting, waiting, waiting. As I’ve been in this “waiting room” I’ve started to find myself coveting more and more. I wish I could do what this person’s doing. Or be as established as this person or be on the road traveling like that person. I wish I wish I wish… Yet here I am in Nashville Tennessee without a clue of what my life will look like a year from now. So many things could drastically change in the next year. I could be planning a wedding, starting a non-profit, living in a different state. This phase of my life as been the most difficult to accept. A part of me feels like I’m missing out on something or I should be working harder, but I’m reluctant to work hard because I don’t know what I’m working towards. What’s the purpose of being 23? I’m not old enough to have the respect to start a revolution, but I feel too old to follow. I need some direction. I want to work on something, but I really don’t know what that is. I have all this energy and time to DO something, and not being able to funnel it is really dampening my spirits.
I hope Brick By Brick Network is something I can latch on to. Here it goes.
